I know, we've discussed this passage a couple years ago when we walked thru the Gospel of Matthew. But I think this is so
important in our prayer life.
I’m a big fan of murder mysteries and police detective shows like CSI,
and I think it’s a great illustration to help our prayer life. Let’s
say a body’s discovered, and no one knows who committed the murder. First, we
have to get a list of suspects, and start narrowing them down. We start with
the most obvious ones, and then either eliminate each one as a suspect or investigate them
further if we've reason to.
It’s the same principle
in your prayer life. You’re praying, either in your alone time or in a group
setting, and you sense that something’s wrong. It feels like you might as well
be talking to a brick wall. You have no sense of God’s presence. You have no
peace, no sense of his smile on your words as you pour out your heart to him.
Just like the detectives on CSI, you pull up a list of suspects, start with and
eliminate the most likely ones, and work your way down. When this happens, your
first candidate should be unconfessed sin, like we talked about a couple of
days ago. Related to that is how you treat your spouse or other family members
(but especially spouse).
Also related to this on your suspect list is a broken relationship between you
and a sibling in Christ. If we’re forgiven, just on principle we have no right
to hold onto unforgiveness regarding another believer. You'll never be called
upon to forgive even a tiny percentage of what God has forgiven you. But on a
purely selfish level, even if that wasn’t so, you should forgive for your own
sake. The unmerciful servant was locked away by the “jailers” to be “tortured”
until he paid back everything he owed.
Again, based on what the rest of Scripture teaches, I don’t
believe this is talking about losing your salvation. But if you harbor
resentment and unforgiveness towards another, your fellowship with the Savior
is hindered and blocked. Of course, part of this is because he’s commanded us
to forgive, and failure to do so is disobedience, and any sin will block our
sweet communion with him. But I think a fissure in our relationship with other
believers especially wounds him. Just think—what hurts a parent’s heart more
than children who can’t get along with each other?
This applies if someone has hurt us, and of course we should be on
the lookout for how we’ve hurt others as well. Jesus put it this way: “Therefore, if you are offering your
gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something
against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be
reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” There’s no point in trying
to worship the Lord and make any offerings, including an offering of praise, as long as you know that you
have reconciling to do.
This
raises a question that I’ve heard before, and John MacArthur changed my mind on
the answer. What if the person doesn’t ask for forgiveness?
What if he’s hurt me and doesn’t even acknowledge it? Well, if you can just let
it go (which I'd venture to say would cover a lot of situations), then do so. But if it still hurts you, then you need
to deal with it. Now, I used to think that if the offender doesn’t ask for
forgiveness, then you’re not obligated to forgive them.
There’s at least one good reason to think so: That’s how God
treats us, right? He doesn’t forgive until we ask for it. He doesn’t
forgive unrepentant sinners. But here’s the passage MacArthur pointed out,
again straight from the Savior’s mouth: “[When] you stand praying, if you hold
anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may
forgive you your sins.” Don’t wait for them to come to you and ask for it. Just
go ahead and forgive them.
Again, I know quite well that there are some reading this who have
some pretty serious offenses to forgive. Not “He dented my car,” but “He took
away my childhood” or “He murdered my family.” Of course, most of the offenses
in life are waaaaay down the scale, close to “He called me a bad name.” But for
those who've had something precious taken from them, I can’t soften what
Jesus said. He calls on us to forgive. In his strength and power, given time,
you can. But the question is “Do you want to forgive?
Are you holding onto your anger because you want to?” If you want to forgive,
then ask for his help to do it. And he will. Don’t wait.
Father God, I’ve never been severely hurt by anyone on that level,
but you have. You had to watch as your own Son was betrayed, arrested,
tortured, slandered, and murdered. And you forgave. For anyone reading this
who’s holding onto their anger and hatred, please draw them into your love and
mercy and power.
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